Dear Abby: I don’t want to tell people I’ve had a facelift

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my partner for three years. We met on a dating site but weren’t able to get together often due to prior plans and vacations we both had planned. Now I realized that his previous obligations were with another woman he was dating.

Before we got intimate, which was six weeks into our relationship, I asked him if he was dating someone else. He said no. I asked him again another time, and he said no. Even though we didn’t get to see each other often, I believed we were exclusive. Now I know he was seeing her for two months before we met and for three months after. He was also intimate with her. Abby, they took a 10-day trip together two months after we met. He says he broke up with her right after the trip.

I feel sure he has been faithful ever since. I discovered all this by searching through his old emails. Otherwise, he would have continued to lie about it. I had asked him several times if he was going on the trip alone and he always said yes. I fell in love with him and we have been living together for a year. I have a hard time forgiving him and I don’t even know if I should. – BREAKED IN ARIZONA

DEAR DEFLATED: Your boyfriend repeatedly lied to you about the fact that he was involved with another woman. If you hadn’t looked at his old emails, you still wouldn’t know the person you lived with. Have you been checked for STDs? If you haven’t been, contact your doctor and make an appointment. You say you’re “sure” he’s not seeing any other women right now. Why are you sure? This man has a rolling eye and has trouble telling the truth. If you are looking for a faithful man, he is not the one.

Dear ABBY: I treated myself to a facelift a few years ago and am very pleased with the results. However, I don’t like to reveal this to people. I believe it is personal and my business, even if it is clearly because of my age.

The problem is people who feel the need to delve into my life for whatever reason and, once they figure it out through logic, I become the subject of conversation and ridicule. I’ve been deeply hurt, embarrassed, and made a fool of several times, and I have no idea why anyone would care.

I respect and love my husband and I do not neglect myself with men, but I have been accused of this. It hurts because I am a “people person” and find criticism and ridicule cruel. I am at a loss as to how to handle this other than hiding in my house. Please give me some advice. thank you – LOOKING GOOD IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR WELL: There is nothing shameful about wanting to look your best. Many women (and men) who can afford it benefit from cosmetic surgery. You’ve already been “unmasked” by these jealousies, so you can smile, stand tall and own it. Because your result was so good, you can also offer to share the name of your surgeon. Hiding has not worked, so come out and be proud. You paid for that face. Take it public!

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.